The Adventures, Mishaps and Musings of Me

You know, I'm not sure I can quite pull off a mowhawk.  Alas, I wish I'd considered this viewpoint before getting it cut as such.  Ah, well, I have a considerable collection of hats, I'll just have to put them to use.

In other news, I'm going off to Austria for two weeks tomorrow.  Or more precisely, tomorrow I'm going to be in a car for fourteen hours on the way to Austria.  My family is very people-phobic, so while every other person-going-away-on-holiday will be going to such destinations as Portugal, Morocco and Hawaii, we will be going to a country in which summer likely exists even less then it does in England, and as such we'll have sucky sweet seclusion in amongst mountains.

Goodbye internet I shall see you in two weeks!

Throughout April and May, Ryan Air are selling flight tickets to random destinations for ridiculously low prices, taxes and all inclusive!  And I mean one Euro each way ridiculous - everyone with the joy of no responsibility at their disposal should be using this to jump on a plane for a weekend in Europe! 

Myself?  I'm going off to Frankfurt in May with a return ticket for two Euros!  YES for reckless abandonment! 

ENGLAND!!

...

Ah, it's nice to be home and subjected to the wonders of malfunctioning showers, galleons of free alcohol and  the thoroughly concerning level of insanity from my family.  Also, huzzah for fishnchips and the the great English breakfast!  Grease never tasted so good.

Flight home was mellow.  Overlooking the fact that I was sitting next to a middle aged Italian man who was chewing on an unlit cigar the whole time, it was rather uneventful.  Unlike last time, where I was charged a fine of 40 Euros (twice the cost of the actual flight) for having an over weight bag, was screamed at by pissy Italian women and nearly missed my flight.

The many British football hooligans that were sharing the flight filled me with the happy feeling of homecoming. :D

In case any of you visit Italy, here are 20 tips to ensure your survival:

1.  Beware of mopeds.

2.  Beware of roads.

3.  Beware of middle aged Italian women who work in low level jobs. 

4.  Everyone who you expect to speak English won't and everyone you expect not to speak English will.

5.  Do not make eye contact with street vendors.

6.  I said DO NOT make eye contact with street vendors!!!

7.  When on the underground, guard your bag as if you were surrounded by a group of pick pocketing thieves.  You are.

8.  When being asked why you haven't got a ticket on the tram respond "Non parlo Italiano!".  Then run.

9.  Ice cream = ecstacy.

10.  Say goodbye to a few years of your life due to passive smoking.

11.  Italy is not in a state of permanant summer.  The postcards lie. 

12.  On Sunday mornings, the entire population of Italy disappears.  They will not return to serve you lunch.

13.  You WILL dance and you WILL NOT be drunk.

14.  If you ARE drunk, you will also be broke.

15.  Beware Italian men with goatees.  They grope.

16.  If you are in the north, be wary of the Mafia.  If you in the south, be afraid of the Mafia.  If you are in Sicilly... they are watching you!

17.  Pay for food first, then collect food.  Don't collect food, then pay.

18.  Go to bar.  Buy cocktail.  Shovel buffet food into mouth.

19.  Yes, the coffee cups are that small and, yes, the coffee does cost that much.

20.  Corruption.  Be disgusted by it, accept it, embrace it!

As of today I have spent/survived 19 years on our beloved planet!  Woot!  I had my birthday party with my friends yesterday and had an awesome night out. Fifteen of us went to a Sushi buffet bar called "Wasabi" where we soaked up the plaesures of alcohol, conversation and raw fish.  From there we went to a club named Old Fashion to party untill 4:00am (the exact time I was born). 

The only thing that blighted the party was that I started developing cold/flu symptons at about 1am onwards and so now I have a really bad cold on my birthday >.<.  This morning I could hardly stand up from the mix of flu, tiredness and hangover.  Utterly bizzare and most definately painful. 

This evening, I'm flying home to jolly England to visit the family.  I'm gonna make sure I have the three highlights of English cuisine:  Fish and chips, roast beef and the English Breakfast.  Mmmm... as much I love pizza and pasta (which I have been living off of for the past four weeks) I have been missing my roast beef and yorkshire puddings on a Sunday.  And it's gonna be great to have my mummy cook for me again XD

Glastea, I'll be seeing you very shortly!  That is, if I manage to navigate my way to and through an Italian airport... best foot forward!

Just came back from Virginia last night - 24 hours worth of planes and airports and my sister being sick on planes and airports made for a lovely journey. Horrorfic connecting flights overlooked, the holiday was awesome - totally brushed up on my American history (of which Viriginia is steeped in), ate lots of  steak and basically chilled for two weeks.   During this period of utter relaxation, I also finished writing my twenty minute short film and revised a second draft - tis looking good so far.

Now I'm back for my last week in England (it was raining when we landed in Heathrow - home sweet home :P)  before jetting off to Milan for Uni. I am so unbelievably psyched for it!

I got my final A2 grades this morning.  I got an A in Business Studies, an A in Law and a B in ICT al of which I'm dead chuffed with :D 

Now, I'm buggering off to America (and visiting Spain for 3 hours).  Talk to you all in two weeks.

Toodles